Back to Rainbow Beach
July 4, 2008
Jingle Hungerford
All sorts of people are back for the summer, gathering at Rainbow Beach.
Heather Blakey July 4th 2008
Jingle knows that E is not to be messed with when she transforms from the mild mannered, fun loving gal into a formidable Enchantress.
When she transforms anything can happen, and it usually does.
These two go right back to Amazonian days and have many tales to tell.
Heather Blakey July 10th 2008
I would love to hear her story.
Well, let’s take a swing at it shall we? Just add a few words.
It’ll be great!
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been…. “
…mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s…”
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s…”
Come on girls. I am loving this. Just sitting here, glass in hand, totally captivated, waiting for this to be continued….
…unless it’s really a bull-moose with a toothache, we are in big trouble.”
The sound grew louder. AM continued nursing her drink while Lori shaded her eyes with one hand and looked down the beach.
“It’s coming from over there….” She pointed towards one of the the larger sand dunes.
Just as the sound was becoming unbearable, a dune-buggy appeared atop the dune. It was belching a good deal of black smoke and there was definitely something wrong with its muffler.
A woman sat atop it, wearing a red bathing suit and rainbow spandex knickers. She waved and grinned at the girls.
And then she popped her sunglasses up over the bridge of her nose to her forhead.
” So tell me, ” she asked ” why is there a guy duct taped to a coconut tree and ladies, for heavens sake whatever is going on the other side of…”
“….the dressing rooms?”
Lori turned to Anita Marie and said, “Now what did you do?”
“Well, ” Anita Marie looked up to the sky and said, ” Wellll…at least it didn’t involve fire…you know this time. “
….I just thought I would have a little harmless fun, you know the sort of thing I like to do …… after all the guy was really giving me a hard time. All I wanted when I went into the hardware store was a roll of duct tape but do you think the guy was going to let me walk out of the store without spending some more of my hard-earned money? No way.”
The story so far:
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s unless it’s really a bull-moose with a toothache, we are in big trouble.”
The sound grew louder. AM continued nursing her drink while Lori shaded her eyes with one hand and looked down the beach.
“It’s coming from over there….” She pointed towards one of the the larger sand dunes.
Just as the sound was becoming unbearable, a dune-buggy appeared atop the dune. It was belching a good deal of black smoke and there was definitely something wrong with its muffler.
A woman sat atop it, wearing a red bathing suit and rainbow spandex knickers. She waved and grinned at the girls.
And then she popped her sunglasses up over the bridge of her nose to her forhead.
” So tell me, ” she asked ” why is there a guy duct taped to a coconut tree and ladies, for heavens sake whatever is going on the other side of the dressing rooms?”
Lori turned to Anita Marie and said, “Now what did you do?”
“Well, ” Anita Marie looked up to the sky and said, ” Wellll…at least it didn’t involve fire…you know this time. “
…I just thought I would have a little harmless fun, you know the sort of thing I like to do …… after all the guy was really giving me a hard time. All I wanted when I went into the hardware store was a roll of duct tape but do you think the guy was going to let me walk out of the store without spending some more of my hard-earned money? No way.”
keep it rolling girls
E
“Oh, right. A likely story,” replied Lori. “Let’s try this one. You saw Dr. Who running down the beach in his PF Flyers and trench coat…..”
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s really a bull-moose with a toothache, we are in big trouble.”
The sound grew louder. AM continued nursing her drink while Lori shaded her eyes with one hand and looked down the beach.
“It’s coming from over there….” She pointed towards one of the the larger sand dunes.
Just as the sound was becoming unbearable, a dune-buggy appeared atop the dune. It was belching a good deal of black smoke and there was definitely something wrong with its muffler.
A woman sat atop it, wearing a red bathing suit and rainbow spandex knickers. She waved and grinned at the girls.
And then she popped her sunglasses up over the bridge of her nose to her forhead.
” So tell me, ” she asked ” why is there a guy duct taped to a coconut tree and ladies, for heavens sake whatever is going on the other side of the dressing rooms?”
Lori turned to Anita Marie and said, “Now what did you do?”
“Well, ” Anita Marie looked up to the sky and said, ” Wellll…at least it didn’t involve fire…you know this time…
…I just thought I would have a little harmless fun, you know the sort of thing I like to do …… after all the guy was really giving me a hard time. All I wanted when I went into the hardware store was a roll of duct tape but do you think the guy was going to let me walk out of the store without spending some more of my hard-earned money? No way.”
“Oh, right. A likely story,” replied Lori. “Let’s try this one. You saw Dr. Who running down the beach in his PF Flyers and trench coat…..”
And then Anita hissed with her teeth clenched, just above a whisper, ” when I get my hands on the old maid that put a coat on him she is So going to get it from me “
That’s when the rainbow-knicker-clad woman shut off the dune buggy’s engine, sending the bull-moose into a gurgling death knell before a final, horrible explosion of exhaust enveloped the three in a momentary black cloud.
“I don’t know about any old maid,” the woman smiled as Lori and Anita Marie coughed, “but I sure could handle one of those drinks about now, if you don’t mind.”
Anita Marie and Lori welcomed the old maid, handed her a margarita, the the three of them approached the man ducked taped to the coconut tree. The old maid offered a sip of her margarita to the trench coat covered man and said “why, brother I see you have gotten yourself in a mess”. Turning to the other ladies she said I see you have met my brother Jacque” ………
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “my name is……”
Cumulative
——————–
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s really a bull-moose with a toothache, we are in big trouble.”
The sound grew louder. AM continued nursing her drink while Lori shaded her eyes with one hand and looked down the beach.
“It’s coming from over there….” She pointed towards one of the the larger sand dunes.
Just as the sound was becoming unbearable, a dune-buggy appeared atop the dune. It was belching a good deal of black smoke and there was definitely something wrong with its muffler.
A woman sat atop it, wearing a red bathing suit and rainbow spandex knickers. She waved and grinned at the girls.
And then she popped her sunglasses up over the bridge of her nose to her forhead.
” So tell me, ” she asked ” why is there a guy duct taped to a coconut tree and ladies, for heavens sake whatever is going on the other side of the dressing rooms?”
Lori turned to Anita Marie and said, “Now what did you do?”
“Well, ” Anita Marie looked up to the sky and said, ” Wellll…at least it didn’t involve fire…you know this time…
…I just thought I would have a little harmless fun, you know the sort of thing I like to do …… after all the guy was really giving me a hard time. All I wanted when I went into the hardware store was a roll of duct tape but do you think the guy was going to let me walk out of the store without spending some more of my hard-earned money? No way.”
“Oh, right. A likely story,” replied Lori. “Let’s try this one. You saw Dr. Who running down the beach in his PF Flyers and trench coat…..”
And then Anita hissed with her teeth clenched, just above a whisper, ” when I get my hands on the old maid that put a coat on him she is So going to get it from me “
That’s when the rainbow-knicker-clad woman shut off the dune buggy’s engine, sending the bull-moose into a gurgling death knell before a final, horrible explosion of exhaust enveloped the three in a momentary black cloud.
“I don’t know about any old maid,” the woman smiled as Lori and Anita Marie coughed, “but I sure could handle one of those drinks about now, if you don’t mind.”
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “my name is……”
My name is Jingle Hungerford and what on Earth is that woman doing with that duct tape NOW?”
Put the time-lord down. They don’t take kindly to being hog-tied.
Says You!
Unless, of course, after several Margaritas have been consumed.
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “my name is…… Jingle Hungerford and what on Earth is that woman doing with that duct tape NOW?”
Anita tossed the roll to Gail who turns to Joanne and says…
“you know girls we are making a manly dressmakers form out the Jacque, the time lord. It is obvious that he needs new clothes. He showed up on the beach naked. Now we will have to…
“say that again” what do you mean we are making a manly dressmakers form for Jacque, the time lord? “He showed up naked on the beach, so we duct taped him, end of story” “OK, got it?” said Anita. Then that old maid showed up and threw on the trench coat saying “You wouldn’t want him to get sunburned now would you? Burnt or not he needs….
Anita hits the mute button and says:
“Dude. There are Two Time lords running around the beach in various stages of undress? Sci-Fi Rules!”
No, thats just Jacquies alter ego, he dreamed of being Doctor Who obsessively, so much so that his alter ego grew so big it finally had to materialize Doctor Who cannot stray go too far from Jacque though because he feeds on Jacques life force, said Jingle.
Jacque likes to skinny dip, so he was swimming whilst Doctor Who hovered in the sand dunes, an old maid came across him unawares whilst walking her dog and threw her raincoat over his naked form.
Anita then saw Jacque and being so mad with a guy from the hardware shop and deciding that Jacque needed some sort of dress decided to tape him to the coconut tree.
I Jingle, Jacques sister came looking for Jacque on the dune buggy I’ve been worried about him.
Terry
I am SO going to hire you if I ever need a lawyer
a.m
LOL!
I’ve totally lost track of this story….
“Girls!” roared Jingle, “may I please have my drink. All this talk of naked Time Lords has gotten me quite flushed. Thank you. Now, could someone please give me directions to…”
make this particular Margarita, this is one spectacular cocktail, it doesn’t taste at like they usually do. You haven’t put anything special into it, have you AM?
“Girls!” roared Jingle, “may I please have my drink. All this talk of naked Time Lords has gotten me quite flushed. Thank you. Now, could someone please give me directions to make this particular Margarita, this is one spectacular cocktail, it doesn’t taste at like they usually do. You haven’t put anything special into it, have you AM?
Anita Marie looks down into the glasses and then up into the faces of the Beach Party and says,
” Uh-oh “
She was looking at the canning jar. Someone had tossed some ice cubes and filled it with Margarita mix. It was glowing a vivid green, but that wasn’t what she had said “Uh-Oh” About. A canning jar with a drinking problems is small potatoes for AM, unless it has a shadow falling over it. A shadow from . . .
the mutant ice cream vendor in a white uniform and straw hat and pink suspenders, and 3 eyes, who said, “Oooh, lookee, a lime sherbet float – my favorite!” and drained the rest of the margarita pitcher.
“Double uh-oh” said Anita Marie. “We’d better get the….”
“Double uh-oh” said Anita Marie. ” You know we’re in trouble when I start to say stuff like double uh-oh. You know what I need now….?”
“Double uh oh?” queried E as she arrived, wondering what the devil was going on down on her private beach. “Where have all these people emerged from?” she puzzled “Who left the portals open?” she sighed. “Leave the portals open and within a blink of the eye all sorts of folk, and their doubtful associates, creep in to Lemuria” she muttered to herself
Then she plonked herself down in a very glamourous, plush, politically incorrect, ermine covered dune buggy of her own and insisted that she have some of the vivid green, concoction that the canning jar seemed to be so freely dispensing.
“When in doubt join in” has been a mantra of hers for a very long time.
“When in doubt join in” has been a mantra of E’s for a very long time.
But as Jingle Hungerford appeared from a grove of coconut trees with a wicked smile painted on her lips and her dark glasses framing her dark eyes E thought to herself…
“…oh, nuts, she found me…..”
E thought to herself “oh nuts, she found me here. I thought all the portals were all sealed up to prevent the likes of Jingle with that painted smile and signature dark glasses.” Now E knew that she really did need a swift drink from that canning jar. Facing Jingle with no booze in the belly ….
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she “worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s really a bull-moose with a toothache, we are in big trouble.”
The sound grew louder. AM continued nursing her drink while Lori shaded her eyes with one hand and looked down the beach.
“It’s coming from over there….” She pointed towards one of the the larger sand dunes.
Just as the sound was becoming unbearable, a dune-buggy appeared atop the dune. It was belching a good deal of black smoke and there was definitely something wrong with its muffler.
A woman sat atop it, wearing a red bathing suit and rainbow spandex knickers. She waved and grinned at the girls.
And then she popped her sunglasses up over the bridge of her nose to her forhead.
” So tell me, ” she asked ” why is there a guy duct taped to a coconut tree and ladies, for heavens sake whatever is going on the other side of the dressing rooms?”
Lori turned to Anita Marie and said, “Now what did you do?”
“Well, ” Anita Marie looked up to the sky and said, ” Wellll…at least it didn’t involve fire…you know this time…
…I just thought I would have a little harmless fun, you know the sort of thing I like to do …… after all the guy was really giving me a hard time. All I wanted when I went into the hardware store was a roll of duct tape but do you think the guy was going to let me walk out of the store without spending some more of my hard-earned money? No way.”
“Oh, right. A likely story,” replied Lori. “Let’s try this one. You saw Dr. Who running down the beach in his PF Flyers and trench coat…..”
And then Anita hissed with her teeth clenched, just above a whisper, ” when I get my hands on the old maid that put a coat on him she is So going to get it from me “
That’s when the rainbow-knicker-clad woman shut off the dune buggy’s engine, sending the bull-moose into a gurgling death knell before a final, horrible explosion of exhaust enveloped the three in a momentary black cloud.
“I don’t know about any old maid,” the woman smiled as Lori and Anita Marie coughed, “but I sure could handle one of those drinks about now, if you don’t mind.”
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “My name is Jingle Hungerford and what on Earth is that woman doing with that duct tape NOW?”
Put the time-lord down. They don’t take kindly to being hog-tied.
Says You!
Unless, of course, after several Margaritas have been consumed.
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “my name is…… Jingle Hungerford and what on Earth is that woman doing with that duct tape NOW?”
Anita tossed the roll to Gail who turns to Joanne and says “you know girls we are making a manly dressmakers form out the Jacque, the time lord. It is obvious that he needs new clothes. He showed up on the beach naked. Now we will have to…
“say that again” what do you mean we are making a manly dressmakers form for Jacque, the time lord? “He showed up naked on the beach, so we duct taped him, end of story” “OK, got it?” said Anita. Then that old maid showed up and threw on the trench coat saying “You wouldn’t want him to get sunburned now would you? Burnt or not he needs….
Anita hits the mute button and says:
“Dude. There are Two Time lords running around the beach in various stages of undress? Sci-Fi Rules!”
No, thats just Jacquies alter ego, he dreamed of being Doctor Who obsessively, so much so that his alter ego grew so big it finally had to materialize Doctor Who cannot stray go too far from Jacque though because he feeds on Jacques life force, said Jingle.
Jacque likes to skinny dip, so he was swimming whilst Doctor Who hovered in the sand dunes, an old maid came across him unawares whilst walking her dog and threw her raincoat over his naked form.
Anita then saw Jacque and being so mad with a guy from the hardware shop and deciding that Jacque needed some sort of dress decided to tape him to the coconut tree.
I Jingle, Jacques sister came looking for Jacque on the dune buggy I’ve been worried about him.
make this particular Margarita, this is one spectacular cocktail, it doesn’t taste at like they usually do. You haven’t put anything special into it, have you AM?
“Girls!” roared Jingle, “may I please have my drink. All this talk of naked Time Lords has gotten me quite flushed. Thank you. Now, could someone please give me directions to make this particular Margarita, this is one spectacular cocktail, it doesn’t taste at like they usually do. You haven’t put anything special into it, have you AM?
Anita Marie looks down into the glasses and then up into the faces of the Beach Party and says,
” Uh-oh “
She was looking at the canning jar. Someone had tossed some ice cubes and filled it with Margarita mix. It was glowing a vivid green, but that wasn’t what she had said “Uh-Oh” About. A canning jar with a drinking problems is small potatoes for AM, unless it has a shadow falling over it. A shadow from . . .
the mutant ice cream vendor in a white uniform and straw hat and pink suspenders, and 3 eyes, who said, “Oooh, lookee, a lime sherbet float – my favorite!” and drained the rest of the margarita pitcher.
“Double uh-oh” said Anita Marie. “We’d better get the….”
“Double uh-oh” said Anita Marie. ” You know we’re in trouble when I start to say stuff like double uh-oh. You know what I need now….?”
“Double uh oh?” queried E as she arrived, wondering what the devil was going on down on her private beach. “Where have all these people emerged from?” she puzzled “Who left the portals open?” she sighed. “Leave the portals open and within a blink of the eye all sorts of folk, and their doubtful associates, creep in to Lemuria” she muttered to herself
Then she plonked herself down in a very glamourous, plush, politically incorrect, ermine covered dune buggy of her own and insisted that she have some of the vivid green, concoction that the canning jar seemed to be so freely dispensing.
“When in doubt join in” has been a mantra of hers for a very long time.
But as Jingle Hungerford appeared from a grove of coconut trees with a wicked smile painted on her lips and her dark glasses framing her dark eyes E thought to herself… “…oh, nuts, she found me…..”
E thought to herself “oh nuts, she found me here. I thought all the portals were all sealed up to prevent the likes of Jingle with that painted smile and signature dark glasses.” Now E knew that she really did need a swift drink from that canning jar. Facing Jingle with no booze in the belly ….
LOL!
Facing Jingle with no booze in the belly was sort of like running up to Godzilla and yelling, ” Hey you! Gecko Boy! Yeah,Gekkonidae I’m talking to you”
It’s just NOT a very good idea-
so E took out her own dark glasses tossed her hair back, popped the shades on and then she took a pull from the Jar and…
then another. As she tipped the jar to her lips the electric green margarita ran down her neck staining her dress as it wicked into slowly onto the ermine covered dune buggy. “Dang nab it. Double dang snappy nab it” E said. “Electric green ermine what will I do with this…..
She Wolf slipped up behind everyone, asking, “What have I missed…Oooo….look what’s tied up under that tree…is it Christmas in July? If it is, I really like the presents. And can I have some of that holiday cheer in the canning jar?” She reached out for a turn at the jar that Enchanteur was passing to her and looked at the woman in red. “Did I hear correctly? You’re Jingle? Fits with the Christmas in July theme anyway.” She smiled guilelessly at Jingle, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Then Jingle noticed E and her now-green ermine. “YOU! Hey, E! Yes, you E.” she shouted, “Don’t you hide from me…I’m talkin’ to you. Don’t you think for one moment I’ve forgotten what you did when we………..
“Stop right there!” Enchanteur replied in a voice that could freeze a volcano in full eruption. “What you do or do not remember doesn’t have anything to do with here and now. This is my beach and YOU are here as a visitor. Don’t ever forget that.” Enchanteur sniffed and reached for the jar again, her eyes never leaving Jingle’s face.
Well! Jingle went red in the face and was about to explode into a tirade and publicly remind E just what they had done together, when E got up out of her buggy, swayed a little, thanks to the green stuff, and oozed charm again. “Oh Jingle darling! Sooooo good to see you sweet pea. That’s was the green stuff talking honey bunch? Where did you get those tights? I have to have a pair! Here! Have something from my canning jar!”
Not to be distracted Jingle
…her eyes never leaving Jingle’s face, except to note the rainbow knickers.
“Jingle,” E said, “The pattern of those knickers is making me see double. Or is it this green concoction that’s staining my ermine-lined dune buggy that’s doing that to me?”
“Oh E,” Lori said, “I think it’s the Margaritas the self-replenishing jar is making. Either that or the fumes that are coming off of whatever is going on behind the dressing rooms are affecting us all.”
“Fumes?” Anita Marie asked. “What fumes?”
(Ha ha! I think we should go with Heather’s “E” opinion on the tights! Scratch my last entry.)
Took in a deep breath and prepared to let Enchanteur have it with both barrels. Before she could get the first word out, She Wolf grabbed the canning jar from Enchanteur and thrust it into the hand Jingle was pointing accusingly at Enchanteur. Startled, Jingle looked at the jar and said, “What the hell is this stuff?!”
“Ambrosia.”
“Nectar of the gods.”
“hic, giggle giggle…something good!” came the various replies.
Jingle tossed the jar to one side and looked around the group and said, ” booze, fighting, naked guys…tell me what do you ladies do when….”
you want to have fun? I thought you were supposed to be replenishing your creative souls, not spreading fear and havoc through the locals. I hear they have locked up their menfolk and banned the sale of duct-tape.”
Say HUH? They locked up who ( snicker snicker ) and hid the tape????
This is….
Ridiculous! They should know that we would just see that as a challenge! Who needs duct tape – we can use zip ties or packing tape – we’re creative!(Meanwhile, the canning jar was lying on its side in the sand, its neon green contents seeping steadily into the ground and staining it green. It was still producing the liquid and the area was getting more and more saturated.)
Anita Marie walks by and says under her breath….
” Dental Floss- bubblegum flavored dental floss “
Cures TARDIS breath everytime!
“Oh, my head….” groans Lori. “That green stuff packed a little more punch this time….Um, Jingle, you were going to tell us what E. did to get you so upset with her…” Lori, pouring herself a glass of pepto-bismol, glances and smiles at E.
Jingle was about to speak when E leaped to her feet and did one of those transformational things she is prone to do. Perched on an outcrop, her blue cape flying in the wind, she made a low whistling call and within moments a raven, with lots of attitude flew to her side. Her eyes blazed and Lori, who had been smiling pepto-bismol induced smiles, suddenly froze…..
“Oh how predictable,” Jingle muttered, arms folded across her chest,”When the going gets tough Madame E calls in Captain Beaky…I’m so scared! What you gonna do? Peck me to death?”
The raven
Lori, deciding that discretion is always the best course of action in such situations, scurries away to the sidelines and seats herself next to Anita Marie, who is still swilling the green stuff. “This is going to be a great show, AM.”
Suddenly, a crackling sound cut across the beach and the smell of ozone filled the air.
“Oooooooooo! Did you see that?!” Lori shrieked.
Anita Marie looks over to Cle and says with the kind of innocence one only sees on the painted faces of long haired maidens posed next to snow white unicorns and says
” No. I didn’t “
What Cle hadn’t noticed was the small, highly potent, firecracker that the Captain had placed under the chair where she sat making wise cracks. The first explosion had been a decoy to smother the sounds of the explosion which was about to blast this little whipper snipper, like a rocket from the Cape, all the way to …
the nearest bar where she could stock up on all things green and evil as AM had singlehandely drained the jar of its potent contents. Cle ran back to the beach as quickly as her bags of bottles allowed keen not to miss Jingle’s story and to see what E was going to do next.
” Did I miss anything?” she gasped as she flopped down onto the slightly scorched sand where her chair used to be next to AM and Lori….
The Captain smiled a smug, decidedly evil smile. “This one is on notice. She will need to be stay alert and hope that Clotho keeps spinning her tale” he thought. With that he sat on his perch watching everyone, taking in minor details, knowing that the potent contents would loosen lips and that E’s secrets would not be revealed quite so quickly as ….
the midnight that was fast coming upon
She Wolf noticed she was in the middle of something that looked like it might get a tad dangerous – an altercation between E and Jingle – and carefully backed away. She joined Lori and Anita Marie on the sidelines. Lori offered her a swig of the Pepto, but She Wolf declined, reaching for the jar of brew instead. She sighed when she found it empty, but just then Cle came running up with bottles clanking in her bag, which Anita Marie then used to refill the jar. The jar did its part and soon was glowing green again.
Meanwhile, the spot where the previous green stuff has spilled on the sand was beginning to smoke and bubble slightly – it almost looked like the sand was starting to fuse into glass. The eerie green smoke was surrounding the figures of Jingle and Enchanteur, and they…
…locked eyes. Jingle growled, “This beach is not big enough for the both of us…”
“Lemuria is not big enough for the both of us…” Enchanteur retorted.
Then with a shreik……..
came a voice from the trees.
” Hey…will somebody untape me from this freaking tree before….”
…before I get sun-burned?”
Lori leaped to her feet and headed towards the grove. “Ooooooo, I’ll do it! I’ll untie him!”
Anita Marie was right behind her. “Not if I get there first!”
Heads in the peanut gallery were turning back and forth, not sure if they wanted to view the drama on the beach or the comedy about to play out in the coconut grove.
Then……
Enchanteur and Jingle gave the high fives salute, embraced and stood together laughing, watching as the comedy began to play out in the coconut grove. “All part of setting the scene” whispered E to Jingle. “They seem to need these dramatics. I think the lad in the tree will distract this lot for awhile”.
Meanwhile…
Lori tripped, sprawling face down in the sand, and Anita Marie stepped on her in her mad scrample to get to the Alien Boy taped to the tree.
And just before she reached him, the new roll of silver tape flashing in the sun Alien Boy held up one hand and then the other and smiled.
Anita Marie dropped down face first into the sand and said….”
“Dang!I should have confiscated his sonic screwdriver!”…
” Hey… ” said a voice from just behind the group of very anxious Cougar Women ” when I asked him about it he said he was glad to see me…”
” Last Summer on Rainbow Beach, just as the first of the Vacationers arrived a noise that could have been mistaken for a bull-moose with a toothache ripped across the sand. It was so loud that it made Anita Marie and Lori put down their margarita glasses.
“Sweet Moses, what was that?” exclaimed Lori.
” What I can tell you ” Anita Marie said as she “worked off the salt from around the rim of her glass ” is that unless it’s really a bull-moose with a toothache, we are in big trouble.”
The sound grew louder. AM continued nursing her drink while Lori shaded her eyes with one hand and looked down the beach.
“It’s coming from over there….” She pointed towards one of the the larger sand dunes.
Just as the sound was becoming unbearable, a dune-buggy appeared atop the dune. It was belching a good deal of black smoke and there was definitely something wrong with its muffler.
A woman sat atop it, wearing a red bathing suit and rainbow spandex knickers. She waved and grinned at the girls.
And then she popped her sunglasses up over the bridge of her nose to her forhead.
” So tell me, ” she asked ” why is there a guy duct taped to a coconut tree and ladies, for heavens sake whatever is going on the other side of the dressing rooms?”
Lori turned to Anita Marie and said, “Now what did you do?”
“Well, ” Anita Marie looked up to the sky and said, ” Wellll…at least it didn’t involve fire…you know this time…
…I just thought I would have a little harmless fun, you know the sort of thing I like to do …… after all the guy was really giving me a hard time. All I wanted when I went into the hardware store was a roll of duct tape but do you think the guy was going to let me walk out of the store without spending some more of my hard-earned money? No way.”
“Oh, right. A likely story,” replied Lori. “Let’s try this one. You saw Dr. Who running down the beach in his PF Flyers and trench coat…..”
And then Anita hissed with her teeth clenched, just above a whisper, ” when I get my hands on the old maid that put a coat on him she is So going to get it from me “
That’s when the rainbow-knicker-clad woman shut off the dune buggy’s engine, sending the bull-moose into a gurgling death knell before a final, horrible explosion of exhaust enveloped the three in a momentary black cloud.
“I don’t know about any old maid,” the woman smiled as Lori and Anita Marie coughed, “but I sure could handle one of those drinks about now, if you don’t mind.”
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “My name is Jingle Hungerford and what on Earth is that woman doing with that duct tape NOW?”
Put the time-lord down. They don’t take kindly to being hog-tied.
Says You!
Unless, of course, after several Margaritas have been consumed.
Well, of course!” Lori reached for the pitcher of margaritas. “Welcome to Rainbow Beach….um….”
“Oh, excuse me,” said the rainbow-knicker-clad woman, “my name is…… Jingle Hungerford and what on Earth is that woman doing with that duct tape NOW?”
Anita tossed the roll to Gail who turns to Joanne and says “you know girls we are making a manly dressmakers form out the Jacque, the time lord. It is obvious that he needs new clothes. He showed up on the beach naked. Now we will have to…
“say that again” what do you mean we are making a manly dressmakers form for Jacque, the time lord? “He showed up naked on the beach, so we duct taped him, end of story” “OK, got it?” said Anita. Then that old maid showed up and threw on the trench coat saying “You wouldn’t want him to get sunburned now would you? Burnt or not he needs….
Anita hits the mute button and says:
“Dude. There are Two Time lords running around the beach in various stages of undress? Sci-Fi Rules!”
No, thats just Jacquies alter ego, he dreamed of being Doctor Who obsessively, so much so that his alter ego grew so big it finally had to materialize Doctor Who cannot stray go too far from Jacque though because he feeds on Jacques life force, said Jingle.
Jacque likes to skinny dip, so he was swimming whilst Doctor Who hovered in the sand dunes, an old maid came across him unawares whilst walking her dog and threw her raincoat over his naked form.
Anita then saw Jacque and being so mad with a guy from the hardware shop and deciding that Jacque needed some sort of dress decided to tape him to the coconut tree.
I Jingle, Jacques sister came looking for Jacque on the dune buggy I’ve been worried about him.
make this particular Margarita, this is one spectacular cocktail, it doesn’t taste at like they usually do. You haven’t put anything special into it, have you AM?
“Girls!” roared Jingle, “may I please have my drink. All this talk of naked Time Lords has gotten me quite flushed. Thank you. Now, could someone please give me directions to make this particular Margarita, this is one spectacular cocktail, it doesn’t taste at like they usually do. You haven’t put anything special into it, have you AM?
Anita Marie looks down into the glasses and then up into the faces of the Beach Party and says,
” Uh-oh “
She was looking at the canning jar. Someone had tossed some ice cubes and filled it with Margarita mix. It was glowing a vivid green, but that wasn’t what she had said “Uh-Oh” About. A canning jar with a drinking problems is small potatoes for AM, unless it has a shadow falling over it. A shadow from . . .
the mutant ice cream vendor in a white uniform and straw hat and pink suspenders, and 3 eyes, who said, “Oooh, lookee, a lime sherbet float – my favorite!” and drained the rest of the margarita pitcher.
“Double uh-oh” said Anita Marie. “We’d better get the….”
“Double uh-oh” said Anita Marie. ” You know we’re in trouble when I start to say stuff like double uh-oh. You know what I need now….?”
“Double uh oh?” queried E as she arrived, wondering what the devil was going on down on her private beach. “Where have all these people emerged from?” she puzzled “Who left the portals open?” she sighed. “Leave the portals open and within a blink of the eye all sorts of folk, and their doubtful associates, creep in to Lemuria” she muttered to herself
Then she plonked herself down in a very glamourous, plush, politically incorrect, ermine covered dune buggy of her own and insisted that she have some of the vivid green, concoction that the canning jar seemed to be so freely dispensing.
“When in doubt join in” has been a mantra of hers for a very long time.
But as Jingle Hungerford appeared from a grove of coconut trees with a wicked smile painted on her lips and her dark glasses framing her dark eyes E thought to herself… “…oh, nuts, she found me…..”
E thought to herself “oh nuts, she found me here. I thought all the portals were all sealed up to prevent the likes of Jingle with that painted smile and signature dark glasses.” Now E knew that she really did need a swift drink from that canning jar. Facing Jingle with no booze in the belly was sort of like running up to Godzilla and yelling, ” Hey you! Gecko Boy! Yeah,Gekkonidae I’m talking to you”
It’s just NOT a very good idea-
so E took out her own dark glasses tossed her hair back, popped the shades on and then she took a pull from the Jar and then another. As she tipped the jar to her lips the electric green margarita ran down her neck staining her dress as it wicked into slowly onto the ermine covered dune buggy. “Dang nab it. Double dang snappy nab it” E said. “Electric green ermine what will I do with this.
She Wolf slipped up behind everyone, asking, “What have I missed…Oooo….look what’s tied up under that tree…is it Christmas in July? If it is, I really like the presents. And can I have some of that holiday cheer in the canning jar?” She reached out for a turn at the jar that Enchanteur was passing to her and looked at the woman in red. “Did I hear correctly? You’re Jingle? Fits with the Christmas in July theme anyway.” She smiled guilelessly at Jingle, but there was a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Then Jingle noticed E and her now-green ermine. “YOU! Hey, E! Yes, you E.” she shouted, “Don’t you hide from me…I’m talkin’ to you. Don’t you think for one moment I’ve forgotten what you did when we….“Stop right there!” Enchanteur replied in a voice that could freeze a volcano in full eruption. “What you do or do not remember doesn’t have anything to do with here and now. This is my beach and YOU are here as a visitor. Don’t ever forget that.” Enchanteur sniffed and reached for the jar again, her eyes never leaving Jingle’s face.
Well! Jingle went red in the face and was about to explode into a tirade and publicly remind E just what they had done together, when E got up out of her buggy, swayed a little, thanks to the green stuff, and oozed charm again. “Oh Jingle darling! Sooooo good to see you sweet pea. That’s was the green stuff talking honey bunch? Where did you get those tights? I have to have a pair! Here! Have something from my canning jar!”
Not to be distracted Jingle took in a deep breath and prepared to let Enchanteur have it with both barrels. Before she could get the first word out, She Wolf grabbed the canning jar from Enchanteur and thrust it into the hand Jingle was pointing accusingly at Enchanteur. Startled, Jingle looked at the jar and said, “What the hell is this stuff?!”
“Ambrosia.”
“Nectar of the gods.”
“hic, giggle giggle…something good!” came the various replies.
Jingle tossed the jar to one side and looked around the group and said, ” booze, fighting, naked guys…tell me what do you ladies do when you want to have fun? I thought you were supposed to be replenishing your creative souls, not spreading fear and havoc through the locals. I hear they have locked up their menfolk and banned the sale of duct-tape.”
Say HUH? They locked up who ( snicker snicker ) and hid the tape????
This is Ridiculous! They should know that we would just see that as a challenge! Who needs duct tape – we can use zip ties or packing tape – we’re creative!(Meanwhile, the canning jar was lying on its side in the sand, its neon green contents seeping steadily into the ground and staining it green. It was still producing the liquid and the area was getting more and more saturated.)
Anita Marie walks by and says under her breath ” Dental Floss- bubblegum flavored dental floss. Cures TARDIS breath everytime!
“Oh, my head….” groans Lori. “That green stuff packed a little more punch this time….Um, Jingle, you were going to tell us what E. did to get you so upset with her…” Lori, pouring herself a glass of pepto-bismol, glances and smiles at E.
Jingle was about to speak when E leaped to her feet and did one of those transformational things she is prone to do. Perched on an outcrop, her blue cape flying in the wind, she made a low whistling call and within moments a raven, with lots of attitude flew to her side. Her eyes blazed and Lori, who had been smiling pepto-bismol induced smiles, suddenly froze.
“Oh how predictable,” Jingle muttered, arms folded across her chest,”When the going gets tough Madame E calls in Captain Beaky…I’m so scared! What you gonna do? Peck me to death?”
Lori, deciding that discretion is always the best course of action in such situations, scurries away to the sidelines and seats herself next to Anita Marie, who is still swilling the green stuff. “This is going to be a great show, AM.”
Suddenly, a crackling sound cut across the beach and the smell of ozone filled the air.
“Oooooooooo! Did you see that?!” Lori shrieked.
Anita Marie looks over to Cle and says with the kind of innocence one only sees on the painted faces of long haired maidens posed next to snow white unicorns and says
” No. I didn’t “
What Cle hadn’t noticed was the small, highly potent, firecracker that the Captain had placed under the chair where she sat making wise cracks. The first explosion had been a decoy to smother the sounds of the explosion which was about to blast this little whipper snipper, like a rocket from the Cape, all the way to the nearest bar where she could stock up on all things green and evil as AM had singlehandely drained the jar of its potent contents. Cle ran back to the beach as quickly as her bags of bottles allowed keen not to miss Jingle’s story and to see what E was going to do next.
” Did I miss anything?” she gasped as she flopped down onto the slightly scorched sand where her chair used to be next to AM and Lori.
The Captain smiled a smug, decidedly evil smile. “This one is on notice. She will need to be stay alert and hope that Clotho keeps spinning her tale” he thought. With that he sat on his perch watching everyone, taking in minor details, knowing that the potent contents would loosen lips and that E’s secrets would not be revealed quite so quickly as the midnight that was coming upon them fast.
She Wolf noticed she was in the middle of something that looked like it might get a tad dangerous – an altercation between E and Jingle – and carefully backed away. She joined Lori and Anita Marie on the sidelines. Lori offered her a swig of the Pepto, but She Wolf declined, reaching for the jar of brew instead. She sighed when she found it empty, but just then Cle came running up with bottles clanking in her bag, which Anita Marie then used to refill the jar. The jar did its part and soon was glowing green again.
Meanwhile, the spot where the previous green stuff has spilled on the sand was beginning to smoke and bubble slightly – it almost looked like the sand was starting to fuse into glass. The eerie green smoke was surrounding the figures of Jingle and Enchanteur, and they locked eyes. Jingle growled, “This beach is not big enough for the both of us…”
“Lemuria is not big enough for the both of us…” Enchanteur retorted.
Then with a shreik came a voice from the trees.
” Hey…will somebody untape me from this freaking tree before before I get sun-burned?”
Lori leaped to her feet and headed towards the grove. “Ooooooo, I’ll do it! I’ll untie him!”
Anita Marie was right behind her. “Not if I get there first!”
Heads in the peanut gallery were turning back and forth, not sure if they wanted to view the drama on the beach or the comedy about to play out in the coconut grove.
Then Enchanteur and Jingle gave the high fives salute, embraced and stood together laughing, watching as the comedy began to play out in the coconut grove. “All part of setting the scene” whispered E to Jingle. “They seem to need these dramatics. I think the lad in the tree will distract this lot for awhile”.
Meanwhile Lori tripped, sprawling face down in the sand, and Anita Marie stepped on her in her mad scrample to get to the Alien Boy taped to the tree. And just before she reached him, the new roll of silver tape flashing in the sun Alien Boy held up one hand and then the other and smiled.
Anita Marie dropped down face first into the sand and said “Dang!I should have confiscated his sonic screwdriver!”
” Hey… ” said a voice from just behind the group of very anxious Cougar Women ” when I asked him about it he said he was glad to see me…”