Leaving Behind

Beatrix sent me on my way with a hug, a penetrating look and clean spare clothes. Oliver, Mule and I travelled for several days in good company. The landscape seemed to change everyday becoming even more beautiful than the day before. The air was fresh, the foliage green and bright, the animals shy and wary and I woke up every day feeling energetic and happy. A lot of that had to do with the tasty, healthy meals which Oliver cooked for us. Wanting to help, I cooked us a meal one night and after a restless sleep, we both said nothing the next morning when Oliver resumed the cooking duties. I discovered that Mule had a playful side and a sense of humour that Oliver seemed to bring out in her. She kept us entertained and it was fun, like going on a hiking trip with good friends. But then we neared our destination and I remembered where I was going and what I had to do there.

Fear in its many forms gripped my whole self so I complained and tried to convince Oliver that we should go back or wait a while before going to the mine, but as we neared the entrance to the cave I could tell that Oliver was reaching the end of his tether with me. I saw the smiling face of Annie Marshall waiting for us and I slowed down almost to a stop. Mule nudged me with her nose, effectively telling me that she’d had enough of my nonsense too.

Annie Marshall looked just as Oliver had described. She was wearing a turban on her head, a lovely smile on her rugged face and a loose dress with loose trousers underneath. On her feet were soft cloth shoes with rubber soles. There was a fine layer of dust all over her as if she’d spent a lot of time in the cave before we arrived. I was surprised and pleased when she kissed Oliver warmly on both cheeks and did the same to me. Oliver never mentioned much about her personality but said that I would like her. And I did. She made me feel better about the mysteries that lay ahead for me.

I was sorely disappointed when Oliver said he had to get back to the farm house and Beatrix. In the back of my mind, I must have been hoping that Oliver would offer to go with me on my journey, even though I knew I had to do this alone. Oliver hugged me warmly, kissed my cheek, told me I’d do fine and left me with some more dream seeds which he said to use sparingly. I hugged Mule and thanked Oliver for looking after me so well. I felt tearful as I watched him and Mule walk away. I loved him for never letting me escape into fantasy when I needed to face reality. I would also miss his cooking.

Annie guided me into a cavern that took my breath away. I gazed at the images of those who had come before me. The drawings and markings on the cavern walls were of varying skill but they all had two things in common – Red, chalky lines and a purposeful intent. I saw roaring lions, peaceful swimming fish, birds building nests and men fighting off monstrous creatures. Annie handed me a piece of thick red chalk and for a moment I didn’t know what my mark would be. Then I knew. I drew a picture of Mule as best I could. To me she represented the attitude I should adopt on this journey. She was always, gentle, strong, kind to herself, willing, open to life, flexible. I found it funny that when I feared I wouldn’t find the answer to something, the answer came from within myself.

Annie nodded approval as if she knew why I had drawn Mule on the cavern wall. I gave her back the chalk and she allowed me to walk around the large cavern for a few minutes and I noticed things I hadn’t before. There was a small wooden table and chair. Resting on top of the table was a pair of reading glasses, a book and a small lamp. Sitting in one corner was a bag full of mining tools and gear. The last thing I noticed which should have been the first thing I noticed, was a large door made out of the same strange wood that I’d noticed in Beatrix’s and Oliver’s houses. It’s face was adorned with large and small jewels like I’ve never seen before, which seemed to have been placed randomly. It had no discerning design but was beautiful nonetheless. I could tell it was very thick and solid.

Annie spoke for the first time since I’d arrived, “This door leads to the Lemurian Alluvial Mine”. Annie’s smile was gone and her eyes sparkled at me as she said “You will decide which of your old selves to leave behind. Pick one which is particularly destructive and restrictive and leave it here on this side of the door. You must begin your journey already willing to change and grow.” I stared at her feeling puzzled at the familiar tone in her voice. She sounded just like Oliver when he was talking to me about the reality of my journey.

“How do I do this Annie?”

Annie looked herself again as she smiled brightly, shrugged her shoulders and left me in the cavern alone. My heart was beating fast as I thought hard about what I needed to do to proceed. I stared at the door and looked closely at the jewels there. They didn’t look as if they were glued on so how did they stick? Some instinct told me not to touch them but they had given me an idea. I searched in my pack and pulled out the pouch which Enchanteur had left for me. I felt around inside and found what I was looking for by its warm feel. The stone I’d first encountered as I’d gone through the portal was now in my hand feeling almost hot on my skin. I closed my fingers around it and thought of my most destructive trait and willed it into the stone. It grew hotter but I didn’t let open my hand until it suddenly started to cool. The stone was glowing slightly and all the jewels on the door were glowing in response and I realised that I was supposed to put the stone into the door somehow. I held the stone between two fingers and held it near the door. I jumped as the wooden door made a sucking sound and seemed to reach for my stone. The stone leapt up and became almost fully absorbed by the wood then it flowered before my eyes and became a multicoloured jewel like the others in the door. Who knew procrastination could look so good when left within a jewelled wooden door?

by Soultide